i’ve developed this new habit
Where i learn a new word everyday
Maybe because i was starting to feel dumber by the minute
Maybe because i wasn’t reading anything meaningful
Maybe because i just wanted to feel like i’m learning.
It read on the screen
Homey; cozy and unpretentious
4 hours from now
I would have called you home.
my own home.
Where i find solace.
your arms, a safehouse to my aching muscles
your hug, a bandaid to my tearing insides
In places i did not even know
were once amalgamated
your touch, an adhesive to my withering self doubt
but now that i’ve asked myself
what home is
it’s nowhere close
to what being with you feels like
how you water budding roses inside me
in places i did not know existed within
how you nourish dulled senses
i did not know my body could recept to
how you flourish nascent abilities
i did not know i had
now i know you’re not home.
home does not feel half as haimish as you do.