i’ve developed this new habit 
Where i learn a new word everyday

Maybe because i was starting to feel dumber by the minute 

Maybe because i wasn’t reading anything meaningful 

Maybe because i just wanted to feel like i’m learning. 


It read on the screen

Homey; cozy and unpretentious 

4 hours from now
I would have called you home. 

my own home. 

Where i find solace.

your arms, a safehouse to my aching muscles

your hug, a bandaid to my tearing insides 

In places i did not even know

were once amalgamated 

your touch, an adhesive to my withering self doubt 
but now that i’ve asked myself 

what home is 

it’s nowhere close 

to what being with you feels like 

how you water budding roses inside me

in places i did not know existed within 

how you nourish dulled senses 

i did not know my body could recept to 

how you flourish nascent abilities 

i did not know i had 

now i know you’re not home. 

home does not feel half as haimish as you do.